Just catching up after a lovely week with some of my most cherished loved ones, the time has gone way to quick. What lovely moments making memories. We can keep in our hearts, bottle and hold on to forever.
So on the subject of time, I felt the need to write this post…….
‘All in Good Time,’ ‘Give it Time’ & ‘Time will tell….’
…..the list of little wise words goes on.
It got me thinking; We all say these things as a way to convey that time is the medicine for all ails in life. In fact, time can be new beginnings, the end of things, revelations and a giver of wisdom.
We all get wiser as we get older. That is not to say that when we are young, we aren’t, but when we go through life, we learn and experience, in the hope we do good things in this world. It is no wonder that we should confide and listen to those who have travelled further, they arm you with some of the survival skills you will need on this earth.
Some of us, though, think we have our wise heads on at an earlier age!
I have two brothers, the eldest’s a great dad, and was and still is, an astute business man. From the age of single digits he was, in his mind at least thirty years old. A memory stays clear in my head of a pension man turning up at the door when he was 18 years old! What teenager thinks of these things? He did!
The other is a responsible and proud family man with a supportive wife and children. He isn’t afraid to stand up for what he believes in and cares passionately about current affairs. Both him and I, nearer in age, are still close. As a child, if I had any problems, he was the one by my side, he was the one in my corner, and me in his.
Being the baby of the family meant I was protected, a lot! Being the youngest always meant I was shielded by my caring parents, two older siblings and the rest of the rather large family. So with this, I thought some of my friendships and relationships would follow suit in terms of trust, loyalty, protection and love – where you all look out for one another.
However, the old adage ”time will tell’ was startlingly accurate. Without going into the details of some of my friendship and relationship choices I made in my teen’s and twenties, some of my trusted family and friends had a few concerns about the people coming into my life. Not that my family and friends did not have their own experiences and mistakes they were making, but its easier seeing things from the outside looking in and caring for one another is what we do. It’s easier to give advice than to take it, and I gave advice to them too. Maybe we all should listen to our own a bit more!
I may of been young, but I was head strong and thought I knew what I was doing. None of us are perfect and I certainly made some unwise choices. Sometimes its those of us that seem to be addicted to helping people, giving so much, that we do it to own detriment and sometimes to the wrong people. I wanted to help people heal. I guess that’s what draws people who need that nurturing towards you. They want to feel better and some do, but it’s difficult when they are scared of facing their own demons.
‘….Be careful with shattered souls, it’s hard not to get cut trying to fix something so fragile, but impossible if pieces are missing…..’ – Up and Down the Rabbit Hole
We are all broken to some degree or another and my fixing was to deflect from embracing my own brokenness, my hurt, my scars. It was a conscious choice but the people who truly loved me felt helpless as to whom I was ‘fixing.’ instead of focusing on myself. Not all of my encounters had my best interests at heart, The train wrecks kept coming, but I was too blind and deaf to hear the warnings.
Time did reveal the true intentions of those I was letting into my life. So now, I spend a lot of my time and energy on family and friends who have been in my life for some time. I take a long time to let others completely in. Trust and respect is earned not given freely. Some of my loved ones are close in my life right now, some are at a distance, but we are all thinking good things of one another and keeping in touch within our busy lives. There is, however, those we have to remove from our lives, because they need to sort their own issues and problems out, in their own time, if they are ever ready.
‘Allow others to grow and give the best parts of themselves to others, not the worst.’ – Up and Down the Rabbit Hole
The experiences, rightly or wrongly, taught me a great deal about people. Although we can all be good at judging someones character, we sometimes don’t listen to ourselves, do we? I even ignored my own intuition! Nowadays, its good to keep your eyes wide open when the alarm goes off. I smell the coffee when the pot is stirring, I hear the warning bells ringing in my ears and I feel my gut instinct deep inside. It sits side by side with me, and rarely is it wrong. It takes us all time to get there. Some longer than others. Finally, I embraced my own scars, but stopped letting others create them. You do not have to fix everything!
Time is a wonderful healer and teacher, it allows us to see the mistakes we make and rectify and resolve those by changing our paths in our lives.
Fast forward many years and I do feel that, at this stage in life, I am in a great place. We are all still learning. Hindsight can be a sharp, sore pain sometimes but liberating all at the same time. I think we all have those feelings at some point in this mad world.
Although I won’t ever feel entirely good about the choices I made at that stage in my life, we all need to take the good from the paths we walked. We need to understand that we are all at different times in our lives and not to berate or forgive others who wrong us, just move on and live your life all the wiser and stronger for it. After all, people can only hurt you if you let them. Its your responsibility not theirs to stop it happening.
Perhaps you are resonating with some of this, maybe you have issues with your choices and decisions you are making right now. Perhaps you want to change things, and for that reason, is why I write. If someone reading this article can relate to any parts of my post, then that’s great, its why I write 😉
One thing I learnt a few years back, is that you can stay perpetuated in the disappointment and sorrow of lives upsets, or you can rise up, stay happy and get determined. Be stronger through your adversities and allow it to make you stronger and wiser.
‘Although scars may never fully heal, maybe we don’t want them to. Maybe they were just the jaggedness we needed to survive.’ – Up and Down the Rabbit Hole
Perhaps you know of someone going through something similar, who is making relationships with the wrong people and you want them to see its not a good option. The best thing we can do for that person, is to be there. We can’t micro manage someone’s life, but if you are a constant in theirs while you wait, one day they will stop and take a good look at themselves and around them and see those who are still there for them and those that used them and disappeared. The pain could of been easily avoided, but that is their choice to make. Those we love, truly love will always come back to us, you just have to be patient. Some learn this from their own actions and some from observing.
So there we are. Sometimes the only thing that makes things that sorts things out is time.
‘Time….Its a sorcery all of its own, a magic that no one can touch. We can’t change time, we can’t turn back clocks, but we can make a difference to our future, and whatever that maybe for me and for you, lets hope it makes a positive impact on this world, which diminishes those that seek to destroy it.’ – Up and Down the Rabbit Hole
With warmth and wishes xx